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  “Get me a whiskey, straight up.” I looked over at Justin talking to Gemma and told the blonde to keep them coming. Another night of drinking was in order for me. Getting Gemma out of my mind was proving harder than I would have ever imagined.

  I took the first shot and welcomed the burn at the back of my throat. This was going to be a lot fucking harder than I would have ever thought.

  Watching the two wasn’t what I signed up for. I wanted to punch Justin out, take his girl and ride off into the sunset. I thought about it the whole time she was laughing and chatting him up. I didn’t want to see that shit. Why hadn’t I realized how much of a problem this was going to be?

  Instead of sitting around, watching it go down, I knew that I had to get out of there. I didn’t want to see them together and I didn’t want to get into a fight with Justin. He was a damn good friend, but that didn’t matter five shots in. He was starting to look more and more like the enemy.

  I got up abruptly and paid the blonde.

  “Leaving so soon darling?”

  “Yeah.”

  I didn’t look back over at the couple. I didn’t have anything to say, but I heard my name being called. Justin was asking where I was going.

  “Bouncing. See you tomorrow with a decision man.”

  He agreed, and I kept on walking. My bike was parked out front and I was ready to get home. I had a lot to think about and none of it was good. I was tired already and I wasn’t even close to getting the club set up. I still needed to find a location and transfer some cash, but all I’d been worried about was Gemma. Why hadn’t I thought that this was going to be like this? I must have really convinced myself that I was somehow going to be able to work it out with her, or I’d forgotten how I felt around her. That’s why I’d left. Maybe it wasn’t because she’d wanted to get married, but because I’d wanted to as well.

  I wasn’t drunk, but I was certainly feeling good as I drove the few miles home. It was a stretch of country road to my parent’s house and I remembered it like I’d been driving on it my whole life. A lot had happened on this road. Being in Hartford right now was a non-stop nostalgia trip. I don’t know how to describe it, but part of me wished I hadn’t came back with the bitterness of losing Gemma. I was second-guessing everything and that was never all that comfortable.

  I was about a mile from my house when I heard a siren and blue lights behind me. I cursed because I knew who it was going to be. I pulled over, not wanting to bring heat to my house and waited for Matt to come around to the window. I didn’t have to look to know that was who it was. The man had a hard-on for me and he was going to smell liquor on my breath. It was inevitable, and I knew in that moment that I was going to jail for the second night in as many days since coming home.

  Maybe I really wasn’t supposed to be here.

  ***

  “Sorry Gemma, I hate to do this again, but you know where I am. Do you think you can get Justin to come down here? I’m really going to have to make amends with Matt about his cousin. He’s never going to let me ride in Hartford by the way he’s going. I must have really pissed him off.”

  I was talking fast to extend waiting to see what she was going to say about all of it. I wanted to think that this was all fate, but it wasn’t. it was just a dumb move for drinking and driving, paired with an asshole cop still pissed off about the past. Either way, it left me asking the one person I was trying to forget, to get her boyfriend to help me. It was painful enough in my book.

  “How the hell did you get arrested again?”

  “DUI.”

  She sighed out loud. “Yeah, we should have given you a ride home. You looked toast. Did you lose your ability to drink?”

  “Just hit me fast and he saw the bike. Whiskey isn’t vodka.”

  She giggled. “I told you a long time ago that vodka is your friend.”

  This evening I was wishing that I’d listened to her advice, but it tasted like crap to me.

  “Justin isn’t here. Something happened with his mom and he had to go over there.”

  “Why aren’t you over there with him?”

  “His mom hates me. She thinks I’m the devil and he thought it would be better if we didn’t get her all riled up. So, it’d just me here.”

  I waited for her to offer to come get me. I didn’t know till that moment that it was what I wanted. I wanted her to come alone. I wanted to see her, talk to her without Justin in the background. He was gone and that left her alone.

  “Where does his mom live?”

  “A couple of hours away. He probably won’t be back until tomorrow or so. She is a hypochondriac, but she’s old as hell so eventually she’ll be right.”

  “Yikes.”

  “Yeah, the feeling of hate is mutual. She call the cops on me once for borrowing his car. It wasn’t pretty.”

  “I hear ya. Sounds like it’s not pretty at all. My mom always loved you.”

  She made a sound that told me that she didn’t believe me.

  “She did. She asks me all the time when I’m going to come home and marry you like I should have done years ago.”

  “I knew I always liked her.”

  That had me chuckling. Even if I had to sit in this cell tonight, at least we got to talk. I missed this, and I missed the sound of her laughter. It was a tinkling sound that I liked very much. It was unique to her.

  “Well shit Frank. Justin will get mad if I leave his friend in jail, so I guess I will be up there in a few. Is Matt the only one on call because I don’t have any money.”

  “Why would that matter?”

  “I’m friends with his wife, so I’m going to play that card. See if I can get it dropped.”

  “Look at you, friend’s in the Sheriff’s office.”

  She sighed and told me that I was always causing trouble and that I needed to get my own friends in the office as well.

  “You used to like trouble if I remember correctly.”

  “Yeah, that was when I was young, and I didn’t know any better.”

  “Alright thanks Gem. I will see you in a little while.”

  She hung up and I just stared at the phone. What the hell was I supposed to do with that? It didn’t matter how she got me out, just that she did, and we had those few moments alone. I had a lot to say to her and although I wanted to kiss her, I was still trying to stay on the right side of that line. It was going to be hard, but I was going to do the best that I could. I was only human and a little drunk.

  Matt came back, running his mouth, but I just ignored him.

  “Don’t have anyone coming to get you, huh?”

  “No, there is someone on the way. They will be here in a little bit.”

  He didn’t like that answer and he said something under his breath about making sure that I didn’t get out.

  “Look Matt, I’m sorry about your cousin. I don’t know what you want me to say. It was a long time ago.”

  “And you’ve changed, have you?”

  “Yes, I have.”

  He pushed his face close to the bars and told me that it didn’t look like it from where he was standing. I wanted to tell him to piss off, but that was not going to help. I was going to need him to turn a blind eye soon enough. This beef with him had to be worked out or it was all going to blow up in my face.

  “You’ll see Matt. I’m not the bad guy anymore. I just want to keep to myself.”

  “Is that why you’re driving around my town drunk?”

  “Lapse of judgment. You know that I just got back, found out my ex is with my best friend. It’s a lot to take in and instead of starting a fight in the bar, I drove home. I thought it was the better decision, though I bet the bail would be less if I would have just punched him out.”

  Matt just chuckled. “Yeah, I see you choir boy. You’ve changed.”

  He walked away, and I hoped that Gemma could help. This guy wanted to bury me.

  Chapter 6

  Ge
mma

  “Come on Matt. Who hasn’t driven with a few too many in their system? I know that you have. That fundraiser we had for the hospital last month? You were toeing the line then.”

  He scowled at me and I grinned at him. I hadn’t brought up the fact that I would call Anne if he couldn’t help me. She would make him, and I didn’t want to go there if I didn’t have to. I don’t think I really should have had to say anything. It was rather obvious as far as I was concerned. I would go there if need be.

  “Gemma, why are you even messing with this guy? What about Justin?”

  “They are good friends and I’m just here to help expedite the process.”

  “Is he the same one that is with his ex and he wanted to punch him until his face caved in?”

  “He said that?”

  “Yeah.”

  I smiled to myself before turning away. I didn’t want him to see how much I liked the sound of that. Not that Justin would get hurt, but that he cared. Maybe it was all about getting him to feel as desperate as I did. It was hard for me to manage without thinking about him. It served him right that he was thinking about me. I really didn’t mind the thought that he was feeling some pain too.

  “It doesn’t matter. Justin is out of town, so I’m here to get him. I’m not leaving without him Matt, so let’s just make this as easy as possible. You don’t have to take it all so personal.”

  “Bail is…”

  “No bail. Drop it. I’m broke, and I don’t even have enough to front it. He doesn’t have any cash in his pockets and I really don’t want to go wake his mom up. You’ve met her, haven’t you?”

  Matt nodded. Everyone in town knew Dorothy and about half of them wished that they didn’t. No one in town wanted to cross Dorothy because doing so was guaranteed misery. She was hell on wheels and it was always obvious where Frank got his attitude and ways. He was a mess, but I knew why. She was a mess too.

  “Yeah, I know who she is. Are you threatening me?”

  “Come on Matt. Don’t make me do it.”

  I was talking about another phone call and he finally agreed to let him go. “You need to keep him out of trouble. You’ll have to bring him home. His bike is already down at the impound lot.”

  “That was quick.”

  “Well, you know that we like to move fast at night. Gets them off the road.”

  “I hear ya. Helps that it was Frank, huh?”

  Matt didn’t answer.

  “What is it with you two?”

  “I just don’t like him, and I don’t want him back here. If you were smart Gemma, you’d stay away from him.”

  I wasn’t going to heed his warning, but I thanked him for his concern. It was just my nice way of telling him to piss off. I wasn’t worried about Frank getting me in trouble, certainly not with the law. If he got me in trouble, it would be about something else altogether. It would have something to do with Justin and my own self control when it came to him.

  There was a time when I couldn’t tell him no. I don’t think that I was there anymore, but there was a part of me that wondered if he really put it on me, made me chose, what would I do. It was hard to forget how quickly I had responded with his kiss. It was like second nature and felt damn good after all this time and a man that didn’t kiss just quite right.

  Matt took off into the back and the holding cells and I waited out on the bench out front. I never did like the jailhouse and since I’d been there so many times, I didn’t need to wait around. Matt would go get Frank because he knew that he was being a douche and I would be able to get out of here quickly. I was going to take Frank to his mom’s house and that was going to be that. I wasn’t going to make it any worse then it had to be. I wasn’t going to let my mind come up with all these scenarios that spelled doom. I had a good life now and I needed to remember that.

  It was about ten more minutes before Frank came out. He was pushing his wallet into his pocket and thanked me. The light brown hair that I remembered was darker now. I don’t know why that called out to me to notice it, but it did. I was hoping that there was going to be something to keep me from messing up, but I knew that there wasn’t. It was just a decision I was going to have to make, whether I wanted to or not.

  “You ready?”

  He grinned. “Yes, thank you again. I didn’t want to spend another minute in there with Matt. He really is an ass. I know why I didn’t like him now.”

  I told him that Matt was an acquired taste. “Anna really loves him, so I don’t say much. Most of the time he’s a really good guy. You just get under his skin.”

  “Sounds like you’re taking his side.”

  “No sides, just an observation. Bit defensive huh?”

  He waved me off and I wasn’t going to go on about it. “You’re out. Let’s go. I will take you to your mom’s. that’s where you’re staying, right?”

  “Yeah but drop me off at a hotel before there. She is not one to get woken up. I’m not even going to risk it.”

  “You’re almost thirty and you’re still afraid of her?”

  “Hell yeah.”

  It was almost laughable to look at Frank and think that he was afraid of anything. But I had met his mom and I could see why. She was a bit more aggressive than I’d ever known someone to be. She didn’t care, and I didn’t want to piss her off if she knew that I dropped him off.

  “Nonsense. You don’t need to stay at a hotel. You know the one in town sucks. Sleep on the couch at our place. It’s more comfortable than over there. Less chance of bed bugs.”

  Frank made a face and his usually serious jaw lightened with his smile. “Well that doesn’t sound good. Are you sure that Justin won’t mind?”

  “No, he trust me. He’ll be fine with it because you’re going to be gone in the morning, long before he gets home.”

  “So, it will be our little secret?”

  I told him not to think of it that way. I didn’t like the sound of it. It made it all sound so bad and it wasn’t a bad thing that we’re doing here. Instead of worrying about everything that was going on, I wanted to make sure that he understood that nothing was going to happen. It was just for him to stay the night. I really wasn’t sure if I could tell him no if he pushed and I didn’t want him to try.

  “We’re not going to do anything, so there won’t be anything for him to know about. Don’t you think that’s for the best? He saw us kissing and he’s been looking at me different ever since.”

  Everything I said was true, so why did I want him to tell me that it didn’t matter? Justin would just get over it. That’s what I told myself when I let my mind go back to Frank and what could happen between us. Me and Frank had a lot of history. It was different. It wouldn’t be like we were cheating, not really. Because I was Frank’s first.

  I was two seconds from physically slapping myself to get it together. This man left me. No matter how good he was in the sack, I had to remember that more than anything else. He wasn’t for me. He’d left, and I didn’t think I was ever going to get over it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to if I was completely honest. I had to remember.

  “Thanks for letting me stay Gemma. I’m not going to make trouble for you and your old man.”

  “Then why did you tell Matt that you wanted to punch Justin in the face until it caved in?”

  He chuckled. “Because I do. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to do what it is I want to do. I have more self-control than that. I haven’t jumped on you, even though I really want to.”

  “Well you don’t jump on me because you know that you’d get shut down.”

  He laughed a little harder and I didn’t like the sound of it at all.

  “Come on Gemma. We both know that I start playing with you and touching you, you’re going to do what you always did before. You never could say no to me.”

  I pushed him back as he leaned closer. He was rubbing it in my face and I really didn’t like the sound or the feel of it. He was
right. Of course, he was right, and I should have been thankful that he felt that way, that he wasn’t going to push because I didn’t want him to be proven right. That I somehow couldn’t handle myself. I could. I really could.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about Frank. I’ve changed. I’m not that same girl you knew a long time ago. You don’t have that sort of power over me anymore. Sorry. You just don’t.”

  I pulled into the driveway in front of the house and looked to Frank to see that he understood. He wasn’t upset though, not at all. Instead he was smiling at me in this eerie way and I didn’t know what to think about it.

  “Is that so?”

  I shook my head that it was and didn’t expect the hand that went on my thigh. He squeezed it as he leaned in for a kiss. I moaned as his hand went up the inside of my thigh and rested on my core. I was practically close to jumping up with the touch, but I didn’t move. I kissed him back and opened my legs ever so slightly to give him better access, I knew what his fingers could do, and I was encouraging it more than anything else. I needed him, badly and before long, I heard the moan that fell from between my lips.

  He pulled back, his hand leaving me, and his mouth gone. I opened my eyes, not sure when they were even closed, and I saw the grin. It made me mad suddenly and I pushed him away.

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “Yeah, and you’re wrong. You’re still mine.”

  I couldn’t believe that he’d done that. It was clear all of a sudden that he was doing it to show me I was wrong. I’d forgotten that part of Frank and I can’t say that I liked it all that well.

  “No, I’m not. I’m with Justin now.”

  I got out of the car before he could prove me wrong some more. The worst part was how damn turned on I was. I didn’t want to be, I really didn’t, especially after looking in his smug face, but there wasn’t much I could do. I knew that I was going to have to figure it out. I certainly wasn’t going to let him get the best of me. I couldn’t believe that I had.